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Home <> Lifestory Library <> Explore By Location <> <> <> Uncle Albert's Shorts




  Contributor: Phil BellView/Add comments



Phil Bell was born in 1949 in the Ancoats district of Manchester.

I was another in a long family line that attended my new school, Holland Street or Miles Platting Secondary Modern School in Manchester.

The majority of the kids at Holland Street were great. I already had an ally at school, my cousin Graham or Oggy as he was known. He wasn't just a cousin he was a friend, and one of my best friends too.

He introduced me to Eddie Hurst, Deny Eadsforth, Freddie Hesford, Mousey Fielding and Billy Barlow who in turn introduced me to Brian 'Bunny' Newhall. We all stayed pals even after we left School. The school was decent, the teachers were not as good as they could have been, but in the circumstances I suppose not that bad.

The teachers Mr Rennie (cruel), Mr Hoyne, Mr Rees (Percy), Mr Pickbourne (daft), Miss Jones (strange), Miss Holt (sadist), poor Miss Leventon (jewish) who really did try to teach us and Mr Williams whose cry 'Blomberg Come Here' struck fear in a pubescent eleven year old!

If nothing else, I have got one thing to thank Holland Street for. It was Jacqueline Littler (Hitler). She was Bunny's cousin and she was gorgeous. My hormones awakened with a thump.

It would be a couple more years before I made her mine. I know I would have found her even if the school had never existed, through ups and downs, thick and thin she is my soul mate and always will be.

I couldn't say we were truly poor then, close to it, just this side of being unfortunate. Second hand clothes bought from someone who knew someone. Coats that didn't fit properly could damage your self-esteem if you couldn't laugh about it.

I became the class joker. I developed into a decent sportsman, football cricket, running, swimming. I became the school champion in most events.

I had to go in for a competition held at Belle Vue. I needed black running shorts but the school didn't provide them. I asked at home the reply was as I thought it would be 'we've got no money'.

I had to go on an errand over to my Auntie Emmie and Uncle Albert who lived on a third floor tenement on the Friday night before the competition on the Saturday morning.

I went up the stairs and knocked on the door, my Auntie Emmie greeted me with a 'hello love, do you want a sauce buttie?' we always had sauce butties at Auntie Emmies, H.P Sauce on bread.

I told Auntie Emmie the tale of the shorts, she said I could have Uncle Albert's running shorts, 'I didn't know Uncle Albert was a runner', 'oh yes, when he was younger'. 'Yes, there is a God' I thought. Auntie Emmie gave me the shorts in a brown paper carrier bag. It seemed heavy considering there was only one pair of shorts in the bag, still I bid my goodbyes and off I went.

I arrived home and went straight to the bedroom to try them on. I pulled them out of the bag. I had never seen anything like them! They were the most ancient apparel I had ever seen.

They weren't shorts in the true sense of the word. They had a woven belt around the waist, buttons on the waistband for braces, buttons on the fly and huge pockets in the sides and the back. They were made of thick heavy blue melton, a woolly material that I had only seen in overcoats.

I couldn't be seen in these let alone run in these. I don't even think I could walk in these! I pulled them on, they did fit but the bottoms of the shorts came down below my knees, and the waist came up to my chest! I wondered just what Uncle Albert would have looked like in them? He was only five feet tall!

John Dunn who lived at the end of the balcony said I could borrow his. Lending me his shorts salvaged the day, although as a team we came last. The other schools competitors were better trained and had proper spike running shoes while we had black plimsole's to run in.

My Uncle Albert asked me if the shorts had fit me. I lied and said 'yes', he said, 'You can keep them Phil, I used them during the war'. Enough said!

Phil Bell, Greater Manchester, 2001
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