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  Contributor: Alan UreView/Add comments



Born in 1929, Alan Ure fell on hard times and ended up living in a derelict pigsty.

It was winter 1949. I had been living in a derelict pigsty in Marlow Bottom until the Swadling family took me in. After my previous harsh conditions it was sheer luxury: sheets on the bed, hot water for baths and even electricity.

Their daughter Joan had just started work at the local laundry. One of her workmates, a sturdy 16-year old called Lily, came to the house. There could hardly have been a greater contrast between our personalities: she was a boisterous extrovert whereas I was quiet and studious.

She called me 'Doctor Alan'. However despite these differences we became friends and have remained so ever since.

By 1950 I had passed my driving test and saved enough money to trade in my 125cc BSA Bantam and buy a 350cc Matchless G3L. It was not long before Lily was on the pillion seat and we spent many happy times riding around the Bucks. and Berks. countryside.

She was a 'natural' as a pillion rider, never holding on to me and leaning over just the right amount into the bends. By this time we were good friends and had the occasional kiss and cuddle but nothing more.

Although Lily and I saw each other fairly often I was aware there was a part of her life she kept from me. There were times when, for reasons not explained, we could not meet. By mid 1952 these reasons became clear.

She told me she was getting married. In those days it was a case of having to get married because she was several months pregnant. But her pregnancy was not then obvious because, as I said earlier, she was a sturdy girl (in more senses than one) and she still came out pillion riding with me.

In the course of the next few months I met her husband-to-be, a soldier called Len. Lily asked me to be her best man and Lily and Len were married at St Luke's Church, Maidenhead on 2 August 1952.

I stayed at Lily's parents' house on the night after the wedding and slept downstairs on the sofa. The following morning Lily came downstairs, leaving her husband in bed, and gave me a kiss and a cuddle. I didn't understand why but thought it better not to ask.

Lily had a little girl on 22 January 1953,and she asked me to be her daughter Brenda's godfather, to which I happily agreed.

I did not see much of Lily during the early years of her married life, for I had moved from Bucks to Kent and got married myself in 1956, to Elsie.

During this time Lily (now Lil) and I wrote to each other fairly regularly and occasionally saw each other. At one of these meetings Lil told me she walked into a local pub one evening to see another man's wife sitting on her husband's lap.

As usual in these things Lil was the last to know that her husband was having an affair with another man's wife, but with typical common sense, she discussed the matter with the other woman's husband (John).

They decided to change partners, and so Lil went to live with the other woman's husband (John) and vice versa. This remained the situation for several years until, eventually, Lil and Len divorced and Lil married John.

So life went on. My wife Elsie died in 1966 and I remarried, to Joan. In addition to Joan taking on Elsie's and my two (adopted) children we had two boys of our own.

Over the years John became ill with heart trouble and died in October 1989. Lil was devastated by his death so, being of a generous nature, Joan suggested that I go and stay with Lil for a few days on the anniversary of John's death, which I did in October 1990 and in several later years.

After John's death Lil did have a few men friends but these friendships did not develop and she is still on her own. We still exchange letters regularly and are still good friends after over 50 years

Alan Ure, Leicestershire, 2002
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